An update..
I did not update much for the entire last year for a reason. It is a personal reason that I do not feel like sharing. Now I am updating, because I think this is the best place to say what I want to say.
I am angry, I am lost, I am depressed and I am going crazy trying to remain sane. This blog was a facade for the real person. I had to avoid saying things, for the fear of being read. Now, I can just say that I am not happy. There are times when you just want to talk to someone and yet, don't know what and who.. This is that kind of a time. If I don't make sense, I don't care.

Here are a few things screaming very silently in my head..
ITS NOT FAIR
WHY ME?
EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY
ONLY THE WEARER KNOWS WHERE THE SHOE PINCHES

And some questions:
Is death an absolute?
Is there a place called heaven?
Is re-birth a myth?
Will we ever meet again?
What could I have done better?
Will God forgive me?
Am I going crazy ??

You know, as a teenager, all songs carry meaning, even the silliest song suddenly seems profoundly meaningful. Then as you grow up, you are ashamed to admit how you were crazy enough cry when you heard some sentimental song. So you start thinking how this is all stupid.

And then you realize that songs like this can have a different level of meaning..

One More Day

Last night I had a crazy dream

A wish was granted just for me

It could be for anything

I didn't ask for money

Or a mansion in Malibu

I simply wished, for one more day with you


One more day

One more time

One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied

But then again

I know what it would do

Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you


First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl

Then I'd unplug the telephone

And keep the TV off

I'd hold you every second

Say a million I love you's

That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

Leave me wishing still, for one more day

Leave me wishing still, for one more day

If you want to listen to this song, here it is:
http://www.ladaisey.com/onemore.html